


retrograde

by havisham



Series: havisham's SASO 2017 works collection [48]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11553882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havisham/pseuds/havisham
Summary: i have loved you. i have had to deal with that.Sousuke does something drastic. Rin tries to adjust.





	retrograde

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SASO 2017 Bonus Round 4: Quotes, for [the prompt:](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/23665.html?thread=14035569#cmt14035569), Sousuke/Rin, the center of every poem is this:  
> i have loved you. i have had to deal with that. - Salma Deera, "Letters from Medea"

“I have loved you,” Sousuke said as Rin was leaving for the last time, a heavy rucksack slung over his shoulder. The sound of his voice stopped Rin dead. Suddenly, he had a whole host of questions. _You love me? You loved me? You don’t love me anymore?_ But Sousuke went on, as if he was unaware of the inner turmoil he had let loose in Rin. “I have to deal with that.” 

Then he looked up and smiled at Rin. It was a strange smile, it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “The next time you see me, it won’t be a problem.” 

Rin knew right then that Sousuke was about to do something stupid. But he had a flight to catch and medals to win, so he punched Sousuke on his good shoulder -- more gently than they were used to -- and said, “Don’t do anything stupid.” 

*

Six months later, Gou called him to scold him for something she had received in the mail. She demanded to know if it was a joke they were playing on her. “If it is,” she said, “it’s not funny.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rin said blankly. 

She sent him a photo of the letter she had received. 

_Dear Ms. Matsuoka,_

_**Yamazaki Sousuke** has had **Matsuoka Rin** erased from his memory. Please never mention their relationship to him again. _

_Thank You._

_Lacuna Inc._

*

The letter was so final that Rin thought that there was nothing he could do. If Sousuke had decided -- if he’d really _thought_ \-- Rin’s nerves were all in tangles. His times suffered and when he asked for some time off to go home, he was granted it, but with the understanding that he might not be invited back. 

That just added to the anger that Rin carried with him, the blame that he could lay neatly at Sousuke’s feet. Forget about him, would he? Rin would show him how hard that could be. 

*

Sousuke opened his front door to let out a cat and one of his neighbors called out to him and waved. He waved back with a soft smile. It was all Rin could do not to rush over and demand that Sousuke talk to him, acknowledge him. 

But he didn’t. He had to let him go, he knew. It had been a mistake to track him down. 

*

But Iwatobi was, for all that, a small town and it wasn’t the last time Rin saw him again. It was the last day of his self-imposed exile and he had gone to the store to buy some rice for his mother. He’d forgotten that the Yamazakis owned the place, forgot it entirely until he saw Sousuke come up the aisle wearing a bright blue apron with a cheerful cartoon duck on it. 

Rin dropped the sack of rice he had been carrying.

In the little chaos that followed, Sousuke’s hand brushed against his. Suddenly, a rush of memories came to him -- playing together on the beach, racing towards school, arguing, crying, fighting and then making up. Seeing him again after so long. The devastating realization that Sousuke wouldn’t get to follow his dream -- 

Sousuke looked at him, faintly troubled. “Sorry, but do I know you from somewhere?” 

“Yeah,” Rin said a little shakily. “I think from school. Sano Elementary?” 

The troubled look faded from Sousuke’s face, replaced by a wide smile. “Ah, yeah! That must be it. Nice to see you again.”


End file.
